i'm a mrs.! or, how we almost died on Maui.

We're back! and I have a husband. Totally weird.

I decided not to blog the 600 pictures we took on the honeymoon because:
a) I put them all (except cheapo underwater cam ones, they're being developed as you read) on facebook anyway. my profile is friends only, so if we're not, let's be :)
b) it would take for-ev-er. to blog all of them, and
c) nobody wants to scroll until their fingers break, right? right.

BONUS: our photographer emailed me and noticed my incessant refreshing of her blog - our wedding will be blogged this evening, so I shall share our lovely photos with you then :) Once we have the pics, I will do a wedding recap post as well. I do have one sneak peek she posted on facebook:

{photo courtesy of real photography}

Okay, so, back to the honeymoon. As you may know, we went to Hawaii. Oahu for 4 days first, then to Maui for 4 days. It was absolutely gorgeous, and we had a ton of fun, except for the very last day which turned into some kind of horrible sitcom plot. More on that later, though. We stayed in Waikiki, which was nice, but super crowded and parts were redonk expensive just because they were near the beach. Our hotel was a couple of blocks from the beach, so we had a mountain/canal view, and saved tons of $$. We enjoyed Oahu and everything we saw, but Maui ended up being much more our style.

While we were in Oahu, we:
- swam in the Pacific Ocean for the first time
- visited the Pearl Harbor memorial, and toured a submarine
- snorkeled with a pod of 40 wild dolphins and their babies (and sea turtles!). This was absolutely incredible and I cannot even describe how amazing it was.
- visited the Dole Pineapple plantation, conquered their Guinness record holding maze, and sampled deliciousness
- visited the famous North Shore and ate fresh shrimp from a truck, Matsumoto's shave ice, and lasted about 2 seconds in the ridiculous waves
- had the best hot dogs of our lives at Puka Dog
- enjoyed tons of delicious local food and mai tais

Then we moved on to Maui. Maui is much smaller than Oahu, and much less crowded. Super laid back and relaxed. Chad was in love with Maui, and I loved both islands, but Maui was definitely great. We stayed on the west coast, where most of the resorts are (Lahaina/Kaanapali). From our awesome, ocean front condo (30 feet from the beach!), we could see the islands of Molokai and Lanai. While on Maui, we:
- went on a sunset dinner/cocktail cruise. It included a free open premium bar (obvs) and amazing food like guava glazed ribs, artichoke dip, fresh fruits, pastas, chicken, and more. This was awesome, and the views were great - we even went right by the area where Jurassic Park was filmed, and Chad was super pumped since he loves those movies.
- went parasailing! This was so cool. Chad had been once before in South Padre, but it was my first time. We did the 800' one, and I loved every minute. Once you got up there, it was just so peaceful and enjoyable, I could have done that all day.
- shopped
- snorkeled! the ocean right outside our hotel had tons of coral reefs that were visible from our balcony, and we saw eels, puffer fish, sea anemones, and all kinds of other cool fish. Can't wait to get those underwater pics back.
- almost died.

On our last day, we went into town around noon because we had time to kill before our 7PM flight to Oahu, and then back to Denver. We did some shopping and had some ice cream, and then sat down on a bench by the beach to eat it. This random hippie hobo came up to us and started talking about random things, then casually mentioned the only highway on the island was closed due to wildfires (it was unusually windy that day). We totally thought he was joking, but I iphone-googled it JUST IN CASE. um, he totally was NOT JOKING. Chad casually asked him how long this kind of thing usually takes (apparently it happens often) and he replied, "oh, at least 12 hours usually." Commence the expletives.

In short, we started freaking out. We purchased trip insurance for like $30 when we booked the trip, but when I called them to see what we should do, they told us that we'd just have to rebook the tickets ourselves whenever we could, submit a claim, and wait like 8 weeks for (hopefully) reimbursement. The problem was that last minute alternate tickets were at least $2000, and the guy also told us that wildfires "probably" were covered, but he couldn't say for sure and they won't authorize claims over the phone. I was not going to spend $2k on the hopes I might get it back. So then we really started freaking. I called my dad and told him what was going on (he was supposed to pick us up in Denver in the morning), and he suggested we find a motel to stay at for cheap. Oh, dad.

At this point, my iphone was all, "hey dudes! I know this is super helpful, but I'm going to die soon." I pretty much hyperventilated. We also only had 7 minutes to make a decision, because that's when the last bus back to the resort area came by. Great. So, we couldn't get to the airport for at least 12 hours and we had no where to stay, and then we would have no tickets home. YAY! Suddenly, it came to me: there was a tiny commuter airport a couple miles north of our resort! I remembered it from a google map I had viewed before we got there (thanks, photo memory!). With 6 minutes til the bus, I started furiously trying to find tickets out of that airport, along with 500 other tourists, because AT&T was (helpfully) slow as molasses. I was midway through yelling at kayak.com to load when the bus pulled up. Chad insisted we get on it (what other option was there, really?), so we did, and after almost declaring war on kayak, I found a number for the only airline out of there and booked us the LAST 2 TICKETS OFF THE ISLAND.

After 2 bus transfers and a short taxi ride, we made it to the one room airport (seriously). When the plane finally pulled up to the "gate," the 2 ticket counter attendants went outside to guide it appropriately. Grrrreat. This plane was tiny. Let me preface the rest of this by saying I hate flying. Yep, my dad works for an airline and I have done it 4000 times, but I hate it and it terrifies me, and I was already at my breaking point for the day. Not to mention that it was so windy, I already knew this was going to be terrible. The takeoff ended up being so awful that the entire plane was filled with shrieks and people sobbing. I spent the entire flight hyperventilating and holding my breath. There was one particular bump I really thought was the end. NOT PLEASANT. Once we finally got to Oahu, we were starving and miserable and we had to wait 2 hours before we could even check in for our flight home. On top of that, I apparently caught a cold in Hawaii. Only me. So I was coughing, sneezing, miserable, basically dead, and about to get on a 6 hour flight where, of course, we were seated in a row in front of the mid-cabin bathroom so our seats were completely straight up and unreclinable.

Then we got to our connection in Phoenix...WHICH WAS DELAYED and extra hour. Where we were seated in an exit row (again, no reclining). Seriously, this day was so terrible it was epic. Thanks, travel gods.